Heineken, it is one of those “Ford vs. Holden” beers. You either love the stuff or you love to point out its flaws and foibles (I’ve always wanted to use that word in a review).
Personally I enjoy the brew. Especially when it comes to those 500ml tins that seem to fit so perfectly in an esky, it’s like they were meant to be there!
Heineken has been on some pretty good discounted specials lately, so I thought it would be the perfect time to look at it, and grab a carton while it’s still only $40 per carton for the Aussie brewed 330ml stubbies. The imported half litre tins however are still coming in from New Zealand, UK, South Africa/ (insert any other Cricket World Cup losing team here), and run around the $50 mark.
Heineken is a European pale lager originally hailing from Holland, Amsterdam to be exact, and have done an extremely good job of marketing themselves around the world, after first hitting the shelves in 1864; it has gone to take a foothold in nearly every major market in the world. Looking at where Heineken can be found on a world map, is like looking at a successful World Domination Plan. They have successfully “invaded” other markets to now own over 125 breweries in more than 70 countries. And where they don’t have their own brewery they licence other brewers to create their product, like they do here in Australia where Lion Nathan (brewers of Toohey’s, James Squire and Fourex among other things) brew and bottle their product.
Heineken, as a company, brew more than 170 international premiums, local or speciality beers worldwide, including Tiger in Asia, Strongbow and Bulmers, Murphy’s Irish Stout and, another personal favourite, Newcastle Brown Ale. This puts Heineken as the third or fourth largest brewer in world, depending on which data you use, based on revenue.
So, purely in the name of research, we sat down over a few of the imported and brewed under licence. Tasting the Aussie brewed stuff against the imported brew is really quite interesting. I haven’t been able to find any of the true blue, Dutch brewed Heineken for some time, it seems the beers we find in the bottleshop might be fully imported but they aren’t fully original.
Now I’m not going to turn this into a whole column about how we get diddled with beer labelled as “fully imported” even though they are just coming from New Zealand. Yes they are fully imported, but that tag line gives the impression it comes from its original country of creation. When in doubt, check the label, if the bar code starts with a “93” then its brewed here, 94 is New Zealand, 50 is the UK, (Google it for a full list).
Pouring them all in the glass they are roughly the same colour, a pale straw gold yellow, with grassy and biscuity toasty aromas. It has a stronger taste of malt than you would expect. Smooth and clean across the tongue with some light sweetness and a touch of malt sweetness that shows as light touches of honey. The Oz brewed 330ml bottles were pretty close to the imported drops, definitely a fresher taste to them, but not quite as satisfying, just a little more run of the mill than the other drops we tried.
In the end with Heineken I fall back to my “BBQ” theory: Would I grab a six pack to take to a BBQ? To be truly honest in the case of Heineken the answer would be no, if I’m only grabbing a six pack I generally want something that’s got a bit more going on in the bottle to keep me interested. Would I be dirty if someone drank my more interesting brew and left me with Heineken? No I wouldn’t, as I often buy a carton of Heineken to enjoy as a quaffer at home.
Its a conundrum, its a beer that’s perfect for the long form of the game, but not quite interesting enough in the short form. A bit like the English Cricket team.
