“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” The words of my Religious Education teacher came rushing back to me once I took my first sip of beer from the bottle, and while coughing and spluttering looked at the label to see “Carlton Dry Fusion”. I use the word “beer” very loosely here.
I think the marketing departing at CUB must be patting themselves on the back for coming up with that name, because after one taste all I could think of calling it can’t be repeated here. I suppose that Fusion is better than nothing as not too many people would buy it if it were called “Carlton Dry Shandy”.
Yet another fruit infused beer released onto the unsuspecting public, and yet again another one that tastes like lemonade mixed with beer. And it got me to wondering, where would you position this in the bottleshop? Do you have it with the soft-drink, the wine or, heaven forbid, do you put it with the real beer? So rather than having some of my peers and colleagues try the, ahem, “beer” with me, I thought I’d take it down to my local bottleshop for a taste test of Carlton Dry Fusion by it’s peers and colleagues.
I’ve listed below some of the more polite responses from the testers:
- Coopers Pale was so embarrassed that the Fusion had the word “beer” on the label that it turned a sparkling red;
- Carlton Draught told me that even though they were cousins it didn’t mean they had to like each other,
- Guinness said something about not touching it even if it were a choice between the return of the potato famine or drink Fusion,
- VB asked if it could be moved as far away from the offending taste as possible, at the very least, to the other side of the shop, and
- Pure Blonde didn’t understand the question.
There was one positive response though. A “Lemon, Lime and Bitters” softdrink embraced the Fusion as a long lost friend. So there you have it. Four out of five other beers don’t like the taste of Fusion, yet soft drink does? What does that tell you?
In all seriousness though, I think there might be a place for this sort of drink in the market. On a hot day they might go down well, but I’d like to see a brewery come up with one of these that doesn’t remind me of a lolly.
C’mon guys, I know you can do it.
2 out of 10.
It’s wet, has an alcohol content and bubbles, so it gets a couple of points at least.